it's on the internet, so it must be real....

MY apology.


! It's hard to believe that we've been put through so much trial and tribulations and that we made it out alive. but we did! and we are still getting married on the original date. June 25. I'm sorry for those of you who don't understand or cannot see the love I have for this wonderful man who'll be by my side forever and always! :) he's my favorite person ever and i never want to hurt him again like i have this last while. It's called getting cold feet and not sure how to handle it. BUT that is how I've always handled being scared. I push those who mean the most to me away til they have to be hurtful back then its usually too late to turn around. The truth of the matter is that i love ben and never want to lose him, I've had a terrible past with guys so trusting him has been my biggest challenge and he understands that now that he knows everything in the past that I've been through.

We love each other and I hope that all who don't believe in a love like this that has happened so fast will be able to see the truth behind the mask someday...

Peace out!~
This is apollo 18 and crew signing off :)

Rough, but worth it!

So this is Ben doing the updating, and this is my first blog... yay :) But we're getting pretty close to the big day and I though we should update. These last weeks have proven to be a real challenge for the both of us, but I think it's all payed off and we're where we need to be now.

It's hard to believe that this is real sometimes, it just seems too perfect... Mandy is just the best thing I could have ever imagined, I don't know why I didn't see it sooner...but I love her! Her touch is all it takes to turn the worst of anything into the best, hearing her sing (though she doesn't agree) is just so beautiful and speaks peace to me. We compliment each other so well, it's like a dream, and i'm affraid I'll wake up and it'll all be gone...but every morning I wake up and she's still here, I wonder why sometimes cause I think I'm a pretty odd guy, but she loves me :)

And so we only have about 24 days till the wedding, and still a lot to do! We haven't put the invitations in the mail yet, we gotta order tuxes, finish making her dress! now that's a big one, and a few other details we gotta work out, but for me, time can't go by fast enough! I know marriage won't magically make all our problems go away, but to be able to hold her in my arms and not have to leave her every night, that'll be just glorious...

I love her, what more can I say? much of this is more about her rather then us, but that's cause she told me to write whats on my mind, and she's all I can think about...we're perfectly imperfect for each other! Well, I guess Apollo 18 signing off!